It's been a while...

Hmmm... I didn't realise how long it's been since my last post.

I seem to be on the mend now, thank goodness, but the past few months have have been tough, emotionally and physically.

I have missed writing. I think about writing everyday + literally jott the notes down, but I never get here - I haven't touched my laptop in weeks (until now that is). I have been using my work computer for essential net 'stuff', just was not interested in being involved with others.

Lack of motivation + depression played a huge part during my absense. The most important person in my life helped me realise that my unhappiness was not the cause of other peoples doing, it was myself who I was angry + upset with. I was blaming everyone around me for my unhappiness + pushing them away. These beautiful people were only trying to help me + did in fact love + care for me. I started looking at myself... looking within myself + discovered a whole new approach to life. I feel amazing.

So... what's been happenin with me?

I had the best Easter long weekend. On the Thursday after work, I met up with a friend for dinner + a cocktail. Her friend later met up with us + we went to an Irish pub where an awesomely down to earth band were playing + a glass of house wine was only $3!!! Sadly, the band played their last song, but we managed to have a few drinks with the members. We were invited back to their place for drinks + listen to Fleetwood Mac Rumours (the best album of all time). We assisted the band in loading the truck with their gear + jammed accoustics til 5:30am. I walked a very long way home, but watched the gorgeous sun rise.
After I slept for hours into the day, Iain + I cleaned the entire house, bagging up old stuff/baggage/junk whatever you want to call it. It felt so good to let go of things, decluttering our workspaces, our bedroom and living room. When we finished, it felt like we could breathe again, it was a fantastic feeling.
I arranged to see my dads family for Easter Sunday, we had a great day - we had not seen them in over a year. They only live 15 minutes from us as we found out.

I spent the whole of the next weekend with my grandmother. The weekend was full of historical stories of my families past - the depth of this information is incredible. I was completely gobsmacked. (I will write about it seperately soon). I took Grandma to a garden expo on the Saturday. The rest of the weekend we cooked, discussed the family history, ate heaps of food, watched crime shows and cooked some more. Cooking is both our passion - something special we both share with one another.

This past weekend we had Bella, Iain's daughter. I haven't mentioned her before - I felt it was too personal. But she is a huge part of my life + there is soooo much I would like to share about her. She is only six, but the most beautiful soul + best friend - we must go way back in a past life. She has been in my life since she was two years old - + no, before you start assuming I stole someones husband/boyfriend I didn't, it's not such a complicated situation for our family, but to others they just don't get it. You will be happy to know we - meaning Bella's mum, Iain + myself get along like a house on fire. Will explain another time... Anyhoo... we had Bella this weekend. We took her to gymnastics, but suprisingly it was closed, due to the ANZAC day public holiday (though, we'd checked their website + it clearly stated open every public holiday except Christmas and Easter... go figure). So we went to this awesome~tastic seafood market (AMAZING seafood!!!) got some crab, oysters + fish + went on our merry way home. Gardening took up most of our day, then a seafood indulgence in the late afternoon. Ian's mum came over for dinner, I made Tuna pasta bake and vegies (recipe to come). Sunday we had a big family BBQ with my rellies by the beach. Bella spent the whole day - except lunch - hunting for hermit crabs with the other kids. T'was a nice relaxing time with family.

Today, I have written up my 'diet plan'. I have dramatically increased my waist line... + everywhere else... + am fed up with feeling fat + frumpy. I am starting a low carb diet, eating mostly meat, vegies, fruit etc... none of my addictions - bread, potatos, PASTA, rice etc etc etc. I was looking through the fat + calorie count book by Allan Borushek, which also lists carb and fibre counts. I was so shocked when I checked the foods I eat on a daily basis - no wonder I look like a heffa!! So 'tis time to take action. Tomorrow is the day... new beginnings... happy days.

We're more or less up to date... :D

Millie <3

1st Feb - you know what that means!!!

Gala Darling's iCiNG Transformation Challenge (iTC) kicks off tomorrow... actually I just realised its 12.24am February 1st! hehe iTC kicks off TODAY!

It has taken me quite a few days to really think about what to challenge myself for iTC. I know this seems like a HUGE list, but I am already doing most of them – I want to make sure I follow through with them everyday.

* Organise my junk – clean house = clear mind;
* Find/connect with my true self + gain confidence;

* Use EFT daily (Emotional Freedom Technique) – I still have a long list of things I want to work on;

* Eliminate the negativeness in my life (thoughts + people);
* Meditate;
* Continue my 2L-of-water-a-day challenge;
* Exercise daily – gym classes 3 times week, yoga/pilates, treadmill/rowing machine + continue personal training sessions every Wednesday;
* Eat healthy, make my work lunches everyday;
* Practice raw food diet – I don’t feel I am completely ready to dramatically alter my diet yet, but it is something I have been wanting to do since last year;

* Continue diet diary - Tea + Toast;
* Apply for at least 2 jobs a week;
* Continue daily entries in my journal;
* Continue working on my photography portfolio to apply for mid-year course;
* Make a marvelous effort of appearance every morning of every day;

* Tell people (friends + family included) about my blog - no-one knows about it.

My intention is to blog my progress everyday, despite whether I fail or not (just part of the process). As Gala said - 'tomorrow is another day'. If I fail I will just pick myself up and keep charging on.

Millie <3

Back At The Gym

Tonight I joined a gym. I did previously have membership with this club but at a different location, however personal commitments forced me to cancel at the time. The personal trainer I had wasn't very encouraging and was negative, she would say "you're not doing it properly!" but never showed me what exactly I was doing wrong. Despite me enjoying the group classes, I became even more selfsconcious and just did not want to be there anymore - just because of one negative person.

Over the past year I wished I didn't let that person get to me, I wished I didn't cancel as I really enjoy exercise - the relief of stress, the confidence I felt, loss of weight and toning. I felt great when I worked out - especially pilates. So while I was not a member to any club I bought several fitness DVDs, but made excuses to not use them or only watch them once + they sit in the DVD stand for months collecting dust. I would constantly complain that I am putting on weight + feel sorry for myself, when really I should have been doing something about it instead of sitting on my butt and sulk.

This year has been incredible for me already, I have such a positive outlook on life and my surroundings. My BFF, Libby, asked me last week (after several previous attempts last year) if I would join the gym with her as both her and I need support with our fitness - gym buddies :D. We were out shopping last Thursday and she ran into the manager of the gym - Wayne, they talked for a while, I was introduced to him and she advised him I was thinking about joining the gym too (yeah I kept saying I would think about it), Wayne asked me "well, how about I give you a free month and see how you go?". I accepted. Then Libby asked me to have a personal training session with her on Wednesday I said yeah why not - it was super cheap too.

So tonight, I went to the club, wrote out my details for the free month, spoke to Wayne for about half an hour then Libby came in. Our session was at 5:30pm we said our goodbyes to Wayne, but he asked me to come see him afterwards to get my temporary card. We met our trainer - Michael. He worked our BUTTS off, and thighs, calves, upper arms, and stomach. I am feeling muscles I never knew I had! He was very encouraging, delivering his attention to each of us equally, gentle but firm, showing us the how to do the exercises, informing us of what area's of our body will benefit from them. Michael is a fantastic personal trainer. I think I thanked him 3 times. After we stretched we gathered our bags and headed to the front desk to see Wayne. Wayne handed me my temporary card... I ended up joining the gym - not because of the way they usually persuade you - I really enjoyed the workout and felt this is what I want to do - plus I had to be a member to continue PT sessions with Michael + Libby. We booked another session for next week.

I feel oh so great that I joined! I still got my free month too :) regular workouts were a major in my New Year goals so I feel I am slowly (but positively) getting my life to the way I want it to be. Healthy, Happy + Positive.

Have an awesome rest of your week! (I'm sure I will be aching in pain tomorrow but it will be the best pain I've ever felt XD)

Millie <3

Christmas is soon approaching (!!!)

Evening my pretties!

Well... it's getting that time of year again... it only seems but a few months since last Christmas (and what a memorable one it was too!).

My partner, Iain, and I have been umming and ahhhing about where we are going to spend Christmas this year, with who's family on what day... you get the picture.

Last year we had it easy. Iain's parents spent March 07 - Feb 08 in the US of A. So, we (all 4 of us - Iain, his daughter Bella, her mum Belinda and I - more on that foursome later) decided to head over to Missouri and spend the festive season with his family. It was amazing! I, whom had never been on a plane in my entire life and had never seen snow, was going to Missouri for Christmas! I can tell you, for 5 months I was counting the days and hours til take off.

We had an overnight stop at Narita, Japan. Definately adding Japan to our list of future holiday destinations! I didnt sleep a wink from Narita to Saint Louis, MO. I was full of excitables!

Our trip to Missouri was full of shopping, visiting rellies, eating (lots and lots of eating - oh I love food!)... heaps more shopping, site seeing - Saint Louis Zoo, Anheuser-Busch brewery tour (where I found my favourite of all beers - Michelob Ultra), the Saint Louis Arch (brilliant views from up there!)... Oh! and the City Museum was unbelievable it is as they say "where the imagination runs wild".

We also did a four day roadtrip to Branson, Springfield and the town where Iain grew up, Aurora. We saw buffalo on farmers properties - not something you see everyday in Brisbane suburbs that's for sure. Squirrels - oh so cute! When we got back to O'Fallon, the town we were staying in, we experienced a large storm with tornado warnings (the tornado didn't eventuate where we were), however, in Springfield Missouri (yes, where Brad Pitt grew up) the tornado had hit hard. We were also going to take a roadtrip to Chicago though, we decided against it as there were snow storms on the way - next time I'm sure we will. One of the best foods I ate was home made pumpkin pie *drools*, the cheese and broccoli soup + lemonade (made from real lemons!) from Saint Louis Bread Co. That diner is AMAZING! I was able to make my own cheese and broccoli soup back at home during winter - of course it wasn't the same but it was still oh so delicious! Oh! And I am making pumpkin pie this Christmas...

Iain and I decided we would love to have the family here for Christmas. We bought our first home a few weeks prior to our Missouri trip. We never got to have a house-warming so we thought we could christen the house this Christmas :)

I can't express how excited I am - maybeing something on the lines of "Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!" *runs around the yard doing aeroplanes in between cartwheels*
I have so many ideas, so many projects I want to start and finish with only 6 weeks to do it all in - EXACTLY today! I am going to make my own christmas cards and gift wrapping too.

What are your plans this Christmas?

Millie <3